When my friends wanted to have a Shake, Rattle & Roll marathon for Halloween I was excited because I never watched Shake, Rattle and Roll when I was a kid (we never watched horror films. My sister was a scaredy-cat. haha) and I was looking forward to getting scared. I did not, however, expect to get incensed at all the misogyny in them. Each woman in each segment I watched (we skipped a few) was either hysterical or horny or just plain evil. Does the horror genre really require its female victims to be idiots? Is it really scarier to feature characters who are too stupid to live? And whatever happened to the idea of intelligent horror?
[WARNING: SPOILER LADEN COMMENTS]
The Good
I am fascinated by Ishmael Bernal’s Pridyider (I). If I had a time travelling device, I’d find a way to get into the pitching room and see how they sold the idea of a horny refrigerator. Yes, a horny refrigerator. What’s even better is everything makes perfect sense. Of course, any sensible girl would avoid hanging out with boys who are only after sex (like really, guy couldn’t have been more obvious) but she’s young (and hopefully learned her lesson) so I’ll forgive her.
The OK
I’m putting Yaya (III) in my OK pile because it got me to scream twice. I have two problems though: one is that villain[-ess] lacked motivation and two, that for a supposedly protective mother, Kris Aquino’s character was more busy screaming her head off than actually protecting her baby from the evil wind. And opening your door in the middle of the night without checking who it is first? Tsk tsk tsk.
I am still torn over Nanay (III) because on one hand, I kinda like it because I think the Undin is cute. On the other hand, instead of attempting CPR on her drowned friend like any smart girl would do (I mean, you might as well try) she wails and screams “What is this slimy stuff all over you? It’s slimy! Eew, slimy!” And I do get the concept of bullying. However I don’t get the concept that every girl in her dorm spends time either bullying her or hooking up with men. Don’t they have anything better to do? Why must this so-called “smart” heroine be too timid to defend herself? Why does she let herself be abused? Filipino audiences tend to root for underdogs but really, does she have to be such a doormat? It would be nice to have a heroine strong enough to fight and say, “Stop being pathetic excuses for human beings and go get yourself a life,” you know?
The Bad
Baso (I) was just so boring. I mean, except for the prosthetics on Joel Torre, there was nothing really horrific about it. Oh maybe the fact that it features a girl who screams helplessly while two men fight over her (I get it, you both love her, but why don’t you just ask her to choose which one she likes most. Oh, I forgot, she doesn’t know how to use her brain.) It would have been a crowning moment of awesome if she just walked out and let them kill each other but what does she do? She faints. Nice.
Why is it in horor films (at least these ones) they never tell you that the house you’re moving into/staying in is haunted? In real life people like to gossip and you can easily find out if your dream house is a hot spot for ghostly activity. Just saying. Multo (II) features a honeymoon couple too busy getting busy they forget to use their brains. Yes, do put on the creepy looking ring in the creepy looking room and get possessed by a mad abortionist doctor. All the time the wife was trying to stop her possessed husband from killing her, I kept thinking: girl, you have lovely sharp nails why don’t you use it on his face? Or kick his groin or something? Apparently the will to survive is not that strong.
I would have loved Aswang (II) if the heroine wasn’t TSTL. Really, I was rooting for her after she successfully fools her aswang-friend to unconsciousness and fools the aswang-family into thinking her aswang-friend was her, but instead of running away immediately, she stays and watches as they perform the ritual! So instead of getting more time to escape, she gets chased into a corner (of consecrated ground) where she finds a weapon (a crucifix. I wonder what they used to ward away aswangs before christianity? anyway) which helps her escape to her friends camping by. Again, instead of getting into the car and driving as fast as possible away from the place, they pack up first and TSTL GIRL drops her only weapon to carry mats and chairs and other stuff. Really really stupid. What’s more stupid is that they manage to somehow escape (with a few more stupid incidents in between) and kill the head aswang. And then there’s this dream sequence where they die (oh why oh why didn’t they die?) and she wakes up and warns the guy who basically tells her not to worry her pretty little head and go back to sleep (oh why oh why didn’t they just die?)
Guro (IV) makes me mad because the heroine (ugh, is there another word I can use?) instead of helping her friend being murdered by her Jekyll/Hyde teacher just hides and watches. Hello? You’re in a chem lab. There are lots of stuff you can throw at his head to distract him. Or as soon as he turned into a monster you could have run for help immediately. But no, she just watches her friend being killed. With friends like her who needs a heartthrob teacher who for no apparent reason drinks potions at 4:30 in the afternoon to make himself into a big scary monster (really man, if you were into kinky stuff like that, wouldn’t it be better if you did it at night without the danger of lovestruck teenagers barging into your office and trying to seduce you? no?) Of course our un-heroine gets saved in the end by a juvenile delinquent knight with shiny hair. Typical.
The Really, Really Ugly
Kulam (II) features an old witch, a slutty nurse, and an innocent girl. I could stop there but it gets worse. The first one’s in love with the guy, though the why is unfathomable (he’s played by Joey Marquez. why on earth would you believe anyone who looks and acts like Joey Marquez?) The second’s in lust with the same guy (again, the why is fuzzy. I mean, his whole body is in a cast. What satisfaction can you get from that?) and the last one’s grateful because the guy saved her from a fate worse than death AKA getting raped (which is why his whole body is in a cast anyway.) The latter two spend the night trying to save worthless guy from the wrath of the bitter old witch who wants revenge after she realizes the said guy is worthless. Could it be any more stereotypical?
So there it is. My night with Shake, Rattle and Roll. The lesson I learned? Stay away from Shake, Rattle and Roll else get ready for an outburst of feminist outrage.
For a bonus, here’s a short horror film my friends and I made in college called Comfort Zone featuring no characters too stupid to live:
Entertainment Weekly has released The EW 1000 list celebrating the new classics of film, music, literature, etc… The only huh? moment I had was JK Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire as no. 2 in the books list. I mean, Harry Potter has done a lot for the literary world but no. 2? Really?!
Anyway, I’m too lazy to link everything here but they’re all interesting. Neil Gaiman has his own top 10 list of New Classic Monsters. I love that the Weeping Angels (from the Doctor Who “Blink” episode) are there because they are terrifying.
~~~
A couple of articles that say how I feel about the portrayal of women in media better than I ever could:
Welcome to the brave new world of postfeminism, in which life is defined by transactions. It’s no accident that these stories are all sold as feel-good romantic comedies, because comedy is the escape clause: it’s just entertainment, it’s a fairy tale about desire, and anyone who objects to it is a humorless, priggish killjoy. Otherwise known as a feminist.
In the geeky girls’ lives, the subsiding of that pain begins when they realize they are romantically desirable. Stiles begins to melt as she is serenaded by Heath Ledger from the school bleachers, and Cook blooms when she tries on a girly dress and takes off her glasses, appearing wispy and feminine. They literally stop being nerds when conventional femininity comes to the forefront.
Hmm, now if only I actually finish reading Being and Nothingness.
~~~
For music lovers… I recommend you get Waldeck’s Ballroom Stories, Portishead’s Roseland NYC concert, and Antony & the Johnsons’s I am a Bird Now. But don’t stop there.
~~~
Can I just say how much I love Surf the Channel? Xena: Warrior Princess! Jem and the Holograms! Monty Python’s Flying Circus! (a measly 3 episodes but it’s still Monty Python)
You’re Brave New World!
by Aldous Huxley With an uncanny ability for predicting the future, you are a true psychic. You can see how the world will change and illuminate the fears of future generations. In the world to come, you see the influence of the media, genetic science, drugs, and class warfare. And while all this might make you happy, you claim the right to be unhappy. While pregnancy might seem painful, test tube babies scare you most. You are obsessed with the word “pneumatic”. Take the Book Quiz at the Blue Pyramid.
I’ve wanted to write this down for a long time but out of a misguided sense of loyalty, I restrained myself. But here it is. Here is the truth. My tutees are spoiled brats.
They’re spoiled. They’re disrespectful. And worse of all, they just absolutely refuse to think for themselves. I won’t call them stupid because I believe that each person has their own type of intelligence but they might as well be stupid because they insist on being useless and do nothing to improve themselves as individuals but instead choose to complain about everything.
Why is it that young girls are quickly growing up to be Paris Hilton clones: vacuous, irresponsible, hedonistic barbie dolls with no regard for anything but themselves? More importantly, why do they want to be like that? Sometimes when I’m with them, I feel like I’m stuck in a Mean Girls movie, and this time it’s not the smart parody that Tina Fey created but a movie where the girls are just mean. I don’t get why they’re so interested in hair and make-up and clothes and being popular but can’t be bothered with anything else.
It’s just sad. Yes, at their age, there were things that I complained about, things I didn’t want to learn like Biology or Geometry but there were things I was passionate about, like music and literature. I didn’t care much about how I looked because I knew it was how I thought that mattered. Long ago, women were dying to have the chance to learn and fought for it and these children, these young girls who have the chance to be more than just an object of desire, a product that exists only to look good and nothing else, they are wasting their chance.
I do love tutoring because I love sharing things that I know. Sometimes, I wish I were teaching something else rather than math, something I love like music or literature or film but well, jobless people can’t be choosers. Which brings me to what prompted this tirade.
Normally, I only have two tutees. But a few weeks ago, when they had their exams, the classmate of the high school girl asked me to tutor her also. Actually, she asked me to tuter her. I had tutored the girl last year when they had a group study session before a math exam. And since I needed the money, I said yes.
She texted me again about a week ago, asking if I could tutor her again. This time I said no because by then I had decided to take a break from tutoring to concentrate on writing a score for a film. But because she said she really needed help, I eventually agreed. So I helped her out but we weren’t able to finish and she asked if I could tutor her again the next week and I told her I was really busy but I would see what I could do. And then she said she had taken P50 pesos from the money her mom gave her to give to me and that she’ll just pay me another time. Since I wanted to get out of there and get back home, I just agreed.
Tonight, she texted me again:
Hi. Ms. do you have an answer for my math iw? If you do, please email it to me. We actually have only 2 days left for iw. Mon and tues. I’ll have to finish that by tues. Cause wed-fri, we have reco, panagpuan, and a festival.
I don’t know why exactly but my temper just flared at her message and now I think I overreacted but it just frustrated me. It was like she didn’t want to think so she thought she could get me to do it for her. So I replied:
I’m sorry if you have a lot of things to do but neither have I had the time to do your homework for you. My job is to help you learn and I will help you if I can but I am not in any way obliged to think for you. I have another more important commitment that I have to work on until wednesday so if you only have until tuesday left then I suggest you use your brain and try to do it yourself.
It all started when this woman in the MRT scolded me because I squished her bag. And then mumbled to herself that she didn’t understand why we insisted on riding the train when it’s obviously full. first of all, if it were full, i wouldn’t have been able to get in. second, it’s late, everyone’s in a hurry to get home and i’m in a hurry to get to a meeting. we’re all squished here like sardines in a can so i don’t see why you think you’re any different or why you have to cause a fuss. And finally, it’s a bag. I would have understood if it was your foot, or a small child. But it’s a BAG. I would understand if you had a Faberge egg stashed somewhere there, but you don’t. so shut up and deal with it.
So anyway, I finally made it to my meeting only to be given a sermon that “professional” people are never late. “There is no excuse for being late,” the producer said. “And if you think you’ll be delayed, you should text us that you’ll be late.” Normally, I’d be embarrassed if I were unexcusably late. But what makes me so mad is that I DID text them. They do know, after all, that I have a nightly tutoring job and this meeting is an emergency meeting and not all of us “volunteers” can jump at their command just because they want us there. It’s not as if they’re paying me transportation money. It’s not as if they’re paying me at all. So I’m sorry if I don’t want to give up my paying job just so that I can sit in your stupid meeting. And don’t talk to me like I’m not a professional. I may not have years of experience like you but I have never been unprofessional. I did the stupid script breakdown didn’t I, even though I already told you I was quitting this morning. I didn’t have to do it but because it was supposed to be my job, I just did.
And now for the reason I’m quitting the production. Well, long story short, I volunteered before I saw the script and now that I’ve seen the script, I just couldn’t go on with it. It violates women. It violates Filipinos and promotes stereotypes. It gives no justification for the violence and abuse. It’s everything I promised myself I would never do. They say that they’re trying to show the reality of the urban poor community and that reality is violent and it’s sexual. but I’m sorry. it’s easy to sit on a high chair and gaze at all the poor people below and think you know them and write a screenplay about their “situation,” a situation you really know absolutely nothing about, well, except if you actually immerse yourself in the community, which I don’t think they did. And then they say they want to show this reality to shock people. The problem with that reason is so what? After you shock people, what happens? What comes after you show the reality of the situation? It would be good if you were trying to question a value or a belief that exists in society, but you don’t. You just want to show it as it is, like a “documentary,” because not everything is nice and pretty.
Yes, I know not everything is nice and pretty. I know it, even though I haven’t really experienced poverty personally. But making a film like that just to shock people is pointless. And there’s a line between trying to help people and trying to exploit them and from what I’ve read of the script, you’re doing the latter. The characters are stereotypical. The underlying story is also stereotypical. Basically, a man abuses his wife, who accepts his abuse because she wants a better future for her child. Oh, and guess what, the woman dies in the end, the son doesn’t get his better future and the father ends up blind. Apparently, it’s their idea of “justice,” like Oedipus. Oh, whatever. There’s a big difference with gouging your eyes out with your own hands because you did an unspeakable crime and with your son gouging your eyes out with a fork because you did an unspeakable crime. They even went so far to describe the mother’s death as a “blessing.” What blessing? Okay, so she escaped from her abusive husband but she dies without an ounce of dignity and worse, without hope of vindication.
And don’t get me started on all the other women characters. Most of them are prostitutes willing to sell themselves or their children to foreigners. Yes, it happens. But most of them are there because they have no choice. They do it to survive, not because they don’t care or because they want to do it. Where is that in your script? The only woman we can empathize with is the mother but you kill her off because death is a “blessing.” Worse, you justify the father’s action with the flimsy excuse that he does it because in a way, he “loves” her. What? How twisted are you? Gosh, you could at least have one progressive thought in your film. And you think we’re close-minded prudes because we can’t appreciate it. I understand that you have to stand by your belief that your film is what you call “art.” But it’s not. It’s a pile of crap. So excuse me if I do not want to stand behind your stupid pile of crap.
To wrap up, as fellow ex-volunteer Makey said as we walked furiously out of the restaurant, there is just no excuse for being a pervert.
I was supposed to make a proper essay for the Action Heroine Blog-a-thon at the film experience but got distracted with editing a video. So i’ll just quickly post this list, without the trouble of explaining myself.
7 FAVORITE ACTION HEROINES
7) Zoe Washburne (Gina Torres), Firefly
“She’s torn up plenty, but she’ll fly true.”
6) Rose Tyler (Billie Piper), Doctor Who
“You saved my life? God, that’s embarrassing.”
5) Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knigtley), Pirates of the Carribean
“Oh fine! Let’s just haul out our swords and start banging away at each other! That will solve everything!”
4) Eowyn (Miranda Otto), The Lord of the Rings
“I am no man!”
3) Xena (Lucy Lawless), Xena: Warrior Princess
“I have *many* skills.”
2) Buffy Summers (Sarah Michelle Gellar), Buffy the Vampire Slayer
“You know me, not much with the damseling.”
1) Veronica Mars (Kristen Bell), Veronica Mars
“It’s all fun and games till one of you gets my foot up your ass.”
ah ahm vahmpyrrr!
"Vous m’avez dit “Je t’aime.” Je vous ai it “Attendez.” J’ai Presque dit “Oui.” Vous avez dit “Partez.”" (You told me “I love you.” I told you “Wait.” I almost said “Yes.” You said “Go away.”) ~ from Jules et Jim by Francois Truffaut
Ayn Marie Dimaya: Fangirling since 2003
Bittergrace is derived from the hebrew variants of her first names: hannah loosely meaning "graced" and miriam loosely meaning "sea of bitterness".
Strings
(Anders Rønnow Klarlund, 2004 Mad Men Season 2
(Matthew Weiner, 2008) G.I. Joe
(Stephen Sommers, 2009) And I Love You So
(Laurenti Dyogi, 2009) Bones Season 4
(Hart Hanson, 2008) How I Met Your Mother Season 4
(Carter Bays & Craig Thomas, 2008) House Season 5
(David Shore, 2008)
Recent Books
Skylight Confessions
by Alice Hoffman Echo
by Francesca Lia Block Verses
by Ani DiFranco Changeling
by Kristin Cashore Briar Rose
by Robert Coover Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea
by Chelsea Handler Fragile Eternity
by Melissa Marr
Recent Songs
Wicked Girls Saving Ourselves
by Seanan McGuire
(2008)
Wendy played fair, and she played by the rules that they gave her;
They say she grew up and grew old -- Peter Pan couldn't save her.
They say she went home, and she never looked back,
Got her feet on the ground, got her life on its track.
She's the patron saint priestess of all the lost girls who got found.
And she once had her head in the clouds, but she died on the ground.
Dorothy just wanted something that she could believe in,
A gray dustbowl girl in a life she was better off leavin'.
She made her escape, went from gray into green,
And she could have got clear, and she could have got clean,
But she chose to be good and go back to the gray Kansas sky
Where color's a fable and freedom's a fairy tale lie.
Dorothy, Alice and Wendy and Jane,
Susan and Lucy, we're calling your names,
All the Lost Girls who came out of the rain
And chose to go back on the shelf.
Tinker Bell says, and I find I agree
You have to break rules if you want to break free.
So do as you like -- we're determined to be
Wicked girls saving ourselves.
Alice got lost, and I guess that we really can't blame her;
They say she got tangled and tied in the lies that became her.
They say she went mad, and she never complained,
For there's peace of a kind in a life unconstrained.
She gives Cheshire kisses, she's easy with white rabbit smiles,
And she'll never be free, but she's won herself safe for a while.
Susan and Lucy were queens, and they ruled well and proudly.
They honored their land and their lord, rang the bells long and loudly.
They never once asked to return to their lives
To be children and chattel and mothers and wives,
But the land cast them out in a lesson that only one learned;
And one queen said 'I am not a toy', and she never returned.
Mandy's a pirate, and Mia weaves silk shrouds for faeries,
And Deborah will pour you red wine pressed from sweet poisoned berries.
Kate poses riddles and Mary plays tricks,
While Kaia builds towers from brambles and sticks,
And the rules that we live by are simple and clear:
Be wicked and lovely and don't live in fear --
For we will be wicked and we will be fair
And they'll call us such names, and we really won't care,
So go, tell your Wendys, your Susans, your Janes,
There's a place they can go if they're tired of chains,
And our roads may be golden, or broken, or lost,
But we'll walk on them willingly, knowing the cost --
We won't take our place on the shelves.
It's better to fly and it's better to die
Say the wicked girls saving ourselves.
Recent Comments